Seniors are feeling the pressure to commit to colleges earlier, and not just for the assurance of higher education but instead to join the race to find a roommate… and it’s much harder than it looks. The roommate search isn’t for the weak and it’s especially not for those who hate small talk. Many have expressed complaints that reaching out to future students at your respective school feels like what they would imagine talking on a dating app is like. Instead of girls turning to each other for help with how to respond to their crush, they are now going to each other for how to respond to an instagram DM from a future fellow classmate. As soon as you put a college in your instagram bio you can expect an influx of “hey girly” texts, but this time they are not about a cheating partner, but instead prospective friends reaching out. I have some credibility in this discussion as I have already locked in a roommate and–not to brag–we are on each other’s private stories. So, in order to spread the wealth I will be showing the reality of the roommate search as well as giving tips.
The first and easiest way students are finding roommates is through the class of 2029 Instagram for their chosen school. It is not necessary to send in pictures and create a brief explanation of your personality, interests, and future plans in a caption. Instead you can browse the pages, eerily close to shopping for clothing, to find a potential friend or roommate. But what do you do when you find someone that you think you would get along with? Well, firstly, it’s not unusual to send a DM saying hi and explaining you are looking for a roommate and/or friends. After you ask what they are planning to study, where they are from, and what they like to do on the weekends, the conversation may feel like it has run its course…but alas, as someone who rarely feels awkward or lets the conversation die, I come bearing pick up lines or engaging conversation starters. To gauge how similar you are you can ask what they do during the summer, if they work, if so what they do, then explain what you do. There you have it: a flowing conversation. You can also express what you are looking forward to at your school, whether it’s Greek life, a specific class, the city, essentially explaining why you chose that particular college. The key to a conversation with a complete stranger is to make sure you reciprocate their questions.
For any underclassmen, reading this advice for simple DM exchanges could seem juvenile. I promise…it is harder than it seems. You may even find yourself revisiting this article in a few years.
The same rules apply when looking for red flags in a guy on a dating app. Do they seem desperate to leave their hometown and are praying no one from their high school comes to the same college? Do they ramble on about their boyfriend, already planning for his visits? Do they live close by and plan to go home every weekend? Are you already getting sick of their Instagrams story spam? Are they too eager to agree with everything you say? These are the questions you should ask yourself, and answers will vary based on what type of roommate you’re looking for. Overall, knowing what you want is vital.
Once you have been talking to a PR (potential roommate) for a while, you may agree you want to start planning your dorm decor. Taking this next step, however, carries its own set of challenges. After all, you don’t typically move in with someone after a few online exchanges. The good thing is you won’t have to share a bed. Are they really a “go with the flow” kinda gal or do they not want to hurt your feelings by saying the Roller Rabbit bedding you picked out is ugly (ouch).
For this I suggest making a shared Google Document where you add variations of each dorm necessity and work towards a cohesive style. You can think of it as preparation for when you get married and have to compromise on decorations for your shared place. It is important to be self aware throughout this whole process. In my case, it was realizing not everyone wants a gold vintage baroque style mirror and legos on display. My roommate and I first agreed on a color scheme, followed by sharing Pinterest boards to update each other on new finds. I even created a mood board (see below) that incorporated both of our styles and interests. As stressful as the whole process is, it’s a nice escape to scroll mindlessly through Pinterest during a boring class. I can’t say I know what time my roommate goes to bed, or how messy she is, but I can tell you all the details of her break up and her friend group drama, so I’d call that a success.
